Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children Through Conflict and Change

Addresses the unspoken problem of mothering difficult adult children while balancing one's own needs. Difficult brings to life the conflicts that arise for the mothers who are confronted with the unexpected, burdensome, and even catastrophic dependencies of their adult children associated with mental illness, substance use, or chronic unemployment.Through real stories of mothers and their challenging adult children, this book offers readable, provocative, and, at times, shocking illustrations of the excruciating maternal dilemma: Which takes precedence--the needs of the mother or of the distressed adult child? Judith Smith speaks empathically to parents, acknowledging and illuminating the embarrassment, shame, and helplessness that women can feel when their adult children's problems puncture their own feelings of self-worth. While the stories and lessons shared in the book touch all mothers who wish their children had married better, lived closer, or called more, Difficult speaks primarily to those mothers with children over thirty who have problems that interfere with their ability to be self-sufficient, despite their seemingly "normal" early childhood and adolescence. Difficult addresses this often-ignored topic which many families often keep secret. It not only creates a necessary public dialogue about a growing social problem, it also includes resources for getting help: finding social support, staying safe, engaging in self-care, and helping the adult child.