Mom, Have You Seen My Leather Pants?: The Tale of a Teen Rock Wannabe Who Almost Was

At the height of the hair-metal craze, when the airwaves were dominated by ear-shredding guitar solos played by men clad in lace gloves, cowboy boots, and tight denim, when Aqua Net was more precious than gold, when MTV actually played music videos and not just shows like Pimp My Locker, a band named Onyxxx (one X wasn’t nearly enough) came close to making it big. What stopped Onyxxx from taking its place beside legendary bands like Poison, Guns N’ Roses, and M?tley Cr?e?

Sex, drugs, groupies, . . . and geometry homework.

Craig Williams, Onyxxx’s red-haired, head-banging guitarist, tells his tale of near rock stardom in Mom, Have You Seen My Leather Pants? With a manager who was a dead ringer for Loni Anderson, club owners willing to offer sexual favors and limo rides, and scads of California girls lifting their shirts and screaming their names, Craig knew what it was to be a starNuntil he realized that Onyxxx wasn’t the second coming of Warrant. They just weren’t that good. And Craig wasn’t having fun anymore.

A music memoir for any child of the 1980s and ’90s, a nostalgic trip down Sunset Strip, and a hilarious tribute to a musical era we can only hope will never have a resurgence, Mom, Have You Seen My Leather Pants? will give you an appetite for destruction.

CRAIG A. WILLIAMS lives in Los Angeles, where he’s written comedy for NBC and the WB television networks and feature-film screenplays for Dreamworks, Twentieth Century Fox, and Spyglass Entertainment. He breaks out photos and stories of his Onyxxx days on every possible occasion.