Sex:Our Bodies, Our Junk

GOOD GOD—YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG . . .

The Association for the Betterment of Sex (A.B.S.) presents Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk, a radical and invaluable resource for improving your sexual communication—whether you have been in a committed relationship for years, or have just moments ago removed the shrinkwrap from your new Japanese body pillow.

Here are just a few sensual revelations you’ll find within these pages:

- The precise location of the female G-spot (latitude and longitude)
- “Going on tour with Midnight Oil” and more outmoded masturbation slang
- Forced perspective and other techniques for visually enhancing the size of your member
- The Top Five pastry-related euphemisms for female genitalia
- How to score big at your next swingers’ party, with our crowd-pleasing ambrosia-salad recipe
- Listings of “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” dry-cleaning services, for freshening up your vinyl fetishwear or adult-sized Tigger costume
- Your first threesome, and how the ancient Mayans predicted it wouldn’t go over so hot

Exhaustively researched and fully illustrated, Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk is a must-read for you, your sexual partner(s), and anyone who wishes there was more to sex than thrashing around for a few seconds and begging for forgiveness.

SCOTT JACOBSON is an Emmy Award-winning former writer for The Daily Show and was a contributor to America: The Book. He has also written for the Academy Awards, Adult Swim, Saturday Night Live's "TV Funhouse" cartoons and New York Magazine. TODD LEVIN is an Emmy-nominated writer for Late Night with Conan O'Brien, and was a writer for The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien and The Onion News Network. His work has been published in GQ, Esquire, Salon, and Vanity Fair. JASON ROEDER is a staff writer at The Onion and has been published in the New Yorker, Salon, McSweeney's, and other publications. MIKE SACKS works in the editorial department of Vanity Fair and has been published in the New Yorker, Vanity Fair, GQ, Salon,Time, MAD, McSweeney's, the Believer, Premiere, Vice, New York Observer, and Esquire. He previously worked at the Washington Post. TED TRAVELSTEAD is an actor and writer. He has written for VH1, and been published in Esquire, Radar, Premiere, Maxim, McSweeney’s, and Women's Health.