Lemony Snicket meets Roald Dahl in this "wickedly funny" (James Ponti, New York Times bestselling author), deliciously macabre, and highly illustrated tale of a hungry beast, a vain immortal man, and a not-so-charming little girl who doesn't know she's about to be eaten. Beauty comes at a price. And no one knows that better than Ebenezer Tweezer, who has stayed beautiful for 511 years. How, you may wonder? Ebenezer simply has to feed the beast in the attic of his mansion. In return for meals of performing monkeys, statues of Winston Churchill, and the occasional cactus, Ebenezer gets potions that keep him young and beautiful, as well as other presents. But the beast grows ever greedier with each meal, and one day he announces that he'd like to eat a nice, juicy child next. Ebenezer has never done anything quite this terrible to hold onto his wonderful life. Still, he finds the absolutely snottiest, naughtiest, and most frankly unpleasant child he can and prepares to feed her to the bea
Reads like a modern classic. Sharp, funny, original - I thought this was brilliant' - Sam Copeland, author of the bestselling Charlie Changes into a Chicken 'What a FEAST! A funny and (bone) cracking
Lemony Snicket meets Roald Dahl in this riotously funny, deliciously macabre, and highly illustrated tale of a hungry beast, a vain immortal man, and a not-so-charming little girl who doesn't know she
Lemony Snicket meets Roald Dahl in this "wickedly funny" (Kirkus Reviews), deliciously macabre, and highly illustrated sequel to The Beast and the Bethany in which Bethany and Ebenezer try to turn over a new leaf, only to have someone--or something--thwart them at every turn. Once upon a very badly behaved time, 511-year-old Ebenezer kept a beast in his attic. He would feed the beast all manner of objects and creatures and in return the beast would vomit him up expensive presents. But then the Bethany arrived. Now notorious prankster Bethany, along with her new feathery friend Claudette, is determined that she and Ebenezer are going to de-beast their lives and Do Good. But Bethany finds that being a former prankster makes it hard to get taken on for voluntary work. And Ebenezer secretly misses the beast's vomity gifts. And neither of them is all that sure what "good people" do anyway. Then there's Claudette, who's not been feeling herself recently. Has she eaten something that has disa
Lemony Snicket meets Roald Dahl in this "fresh game of cat and mouse" (Kirkus Reviews) that's the riotously funny, deliciously macabre, and highly illustrated third book in the middle grade The Beast and the Bethany series in which Bethany and Ebenezer find themselves with a surprising new roommate: the beast itself. After being vanquished in spectacular fashion that included an umbrella with human-puddling capabilities and a darn good show, the beast is transferred to a hidden island and placed in an impenetrable cage where it can no longer hurt anyone or carry out its dastardly plan to make Bethany its next meal. Meaning Bethany and Ebenezer's lives are finally beast free and they can pursue their do-gooding activities in peace--even if the "gooding" part is questionable. But when it's revealed that the beast has lost its memory and D.0.R.R.I.S. declares that it's no longer dangerous, the beast is delivered back where it came from: Ebenezer and Bethany's house. Can the beast really b
